Understand the Groundbreaking Method for Getting Work Done
It’s late. Dinner is over, the dishes are done and the dog has been walked. You’re thinking, phew, another day complete, check.
Your teen runs down the stairs, tears flowing down her cheeks, gulping in air between sobs, completely panic-stricken, “My paper is due tomorrow, NOT next week. I can’t believe this is happening to me!”
This scenario is almost every parent’s definition of a long night. And I’ve definitely been there. I have lived this nightmare with my own kids more than I care to remember.
Initially, when you hear this story you might see it as a one-off experience but when this kind of problem becomes a habit it’s time to take a closer look and get help. Such frustrating and stressful missteps point to the need to develop a set of skills that teens need now, in the college years ahead, and for all manner of tasks that will be part of their future.
Executive Functioning Defined
When someone struggles with chronic time management, organization, and what some specialists call “future planning,” they’re struggling with a range of skills often described as executive functioning. But what exactly is executive functioning? Executive functioning skills are, “Those elements of cognition that allow for the self-regulation and self-direction of our day-to-day and long term functioning,” according to school psychologist Christopher Kaufman.
Megan Griffith, a neurodivergent advocate, puts it more simply, “Think of executive functioning like your brain's CEO.” Executive functioning is in charge of organizing, prioritizing, and taking action. “So executive dysfunction is when those tasks go...awry,” explains Griffith.
3 Ways to Spot Executive Dysfunction
Sometimes executive dysfunction looks like this:
You might know what the assignment is but it’s just so hard to get started
You have the best of intentions and you actually want to work but not knowing what to do first makes you freeze up
You might do anything and everything else, including sleep, and then blame yourself because you don’t understand why you do what you do.
Most students and their parents really believe that working harder is the solution. But according to Griffith, “Executive dysfunction is a misfiring in our brains. It’s not laziness, it’s not obstinance, it’s a lack of basic functioning that tends to happen with all kinds of neurodivergent people.”
Children need their executive functioning to be working well or they won’t be able to complete tasks. Throw in negative feelings surrounding procrastination, not having a clear picture of what needs to be done, and you have a perfect storm that stops kids from initiating tasks and completing them.
Without long term solutions kids will continue to start a paper the night before it’s due. In order to help kids get out of this rut, we need to find, develop, and implement comprehensive tools and strategies so they can slowly and independently begin to turn in assignments, write papers, and complete long projects successfully by themselves and on time.
The Sklar Method
Executive functioning trailblazer, Marydee Sklar, developed a process that first helps kids better understand how their brain works, and then introduces tools to better support their learning. This approach ultimately strengthens their executive functioning skills.
Sklar’s brilliance is her deep belief in the need to depersonalize poor executive functioning. She loves to say, “It’s your brain, it’s not you.” She hacks away at negative stereotyping. She believes in getting rid of labels and helps kids feel better about themselves so they can focus on getting things done. Sklar helps kids understand the key to better EF skills and their metacognition, what we call ‘thinking about your thinking.” By doing so, learners can slow their brain down to gain self-awareness, make a plan, take action, and advocate for their unique needs.
As we think about teenagers, maybe even teens like the one in my opening story, it’s important to understand that the tears, frustration, and disappointment associated with schoolwork (and later in life, work) may represent more than simply being an emotional teenager or an inexperienced young adult. If your high school or college student struggles with homework, test taking, meeting deadlines, losing assignments, or breaking projects into parts, they may need support to improve. Finding an executive functioning coach versed in the Sklar Method can give them the tools they need to become a better student, more confident adult, and lifelong learner.
Karen Rodriguez
As a trained executive functioning coach, I use the Sklar Method to help individuals identify absent areas of executive functioning skills, in order to develop new neuropathways. This work ultimately fosters better habits so they can get things done and handle their lives with ease.